Alice

Look.

Look what you did.

 

But she doesn’t want to. Eyes closed.  Breath still. Hushed.

 

I said, Look.

Look through the glass, little girl.  Tell me what you see.

 

She opens her eyes, slowly.  A whimper, tears wiped away before anyone can see.

 

Breath still.  Hushed.

Don’t say a fucking word. The voice in her head.  Safer for you, that way, it said.

 

I’m going to fucking hit you, if you don’t look.  Look at what you did.  This is all your doing; YOU fucking did this.  So look at it.  Tell me what you’re going to do about it.

 

Make it better?  Make it worse? Tell me, which one?

Look through the glass, little girl.  Tell me what you’re going to do about it.

 

She opens her mouth, slowly.  A whimper, words stopped before anyone can hear.

 

Breath still. Hushed.

Don’t say a fucking word. The voice in her head.

Safer for you, that way, it said.

 

You drank the drink,

you ate the pill,

you ate and drank and seemed to be merry.

 

Fight or flight, scream or float.…the voice boomed at her.  She almost forgot he was there.

It’s time to run, time to run. The voice in her head.

Safer for you, that way, it said.

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